I am a complete believer that there is a Heaven and a Hell after we leave this great world. When it comes time, I hope I am sent to the former. I still have not decided what my version of Heaven looks like but I have recently come up with some different activities that I believe will be offered 24/7 in Hell.
In my mind, you will have to be participating in one at all times in a never ending cycle. This mindset should help me to encourage staying on the Heaven track.
Here’s to Part One of “Activity Choices In Hell)
1. Receiving paper cuts on your finger/toe webbing
2. A room where the worst Nickleback song is playing on repeat for a year
3. Copying the dictionary using a quill pen and ink in cursive
4. Having to walk around a grocery store where someone is constantly behind you catching your Achilles’ tendon with their cart
5. Sitting in a room with a young make believe child that asks “why” after everything you say and you have to give them an answer
6. Having to memorize and recite a Monetary Economics textbook without error
7. Watching that religious channel with the lady with the big hair (Jan Crouch)
8. Listening to the old school dial-up tone before wireless was invented to connect to the internet and it never connecting after days of waiting
9. Being a human test subject while fully awake with no anesthetics
10. Skydiving constantly with a parachute that doesn’t open
11. Watching the end of a big game when your cable provider (most likely Comcast) goes out during a big play
12. Speaking of Comcast, having to call them to resolve a problem
I hope you’ve enjoyed the first part of this ongoing list.
To be continued…