Things worse than Nickelback (part one)

photo courtesy of someecards.com
photo courtesy of someecards.com

I started to write an introduction to this, but have decided that there is absolutely NO reason for one.  Here is a list (in no particular order) of things I consider to be worse than Nickleback.

  • Stick Figure Families

Since the first time I saw these, I have had an intense dislike for them.  At first, this dislike was unfounded.  There was no particular reason I did not like them…I just didn’t.  Then one day, I had a revelation.  I finally realized that I had subconsciously not liked them for a very good reason.  These are a HUGE safety concern.  Do parents realize that some pedophile could be using this to target children?  They easily can see 1. how many kids you have 2. children’s gender 3. if you are a single parent.  Maybe this shows how paranoid I will be when I have kids…

  • Norovirus

My guess is that you have probably never heard of this.  Consider yourself blessed.  Norovirus wreaked havoc in my home almost exactly a year ago.  A friend of mine (who shall remain anonymous) somehow contracted it and after spending the night, the house became a breeding ground for this evil creation.  I ended up contracting it within a day and my roommate did shortly after.  I have never been that sick in my life.  I think I slept for 3-4 days, couldn’t eat or drink anything, and literally could not even move.  My sweet roommates dad ended up stopping by on day 3 or 4 and bringing us some much-needed supplies.  I did lose 13 lbs in a few days from this, but dear God, it was not even close to worth it.  That has got to be what death feels like.  I will spare you the details, but feel free to read up on the virus here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norovirus

  • Ad Valorem Tax

Paying taxes on things that I already own/already am paying to own at some point in time.  This gets really expensive as I’ve found the last couple years.  I really took for granted that my parents paid this tax on my car every year.  Now, I have the pleasure of paying one for my car as well as one on my condo.  These taxes just seem to start coming out of thin air the older I get…

  • One Uppers

I feel like everyone at least knows a one upper.  The person that just cannot stand to be out of the spotlight or have the best (or worst) situation.  I think the worst is when they “one up” your bad situation.

Example:

Girl One: “My dog died today I’m really upset”

One Upper: “Yeah one time, my dog died and I was sitting next to him as he took his last breath and then my cat died one minute later”

  • Snow in Atlanta (or probably most places in the South)

If you have not heard, Atlanta had an epic snow situation a few weeks ago (as well as a more recent one last week).  The first of the two was a historical fail on the city of Atlanta.  It started snowing around noon on a Tuesday.  Salt trucks had not yet salted the roads.  Schools then decided to close early leaving parents on the roads trying to get their kids.  What ensued was just about every car in Atlanta being on the road at the same time.  But they were driving on ice and traffic was basically a standstill.  People had 10 hour plus commutes just to go a few miles.  Most of the people I know abandoned their cars only to still have to walk miles home.  This was embarrassing for the city. When the snow melted, things went back to normal…well until we were hit with a crazy ice storm just a couple of weeks later.  Luckily this time the city (not wanting to be made a mockery of again) decided to salt the roads and cancel schools just as a precautionary measure.

  • When there is food stuck in your teeth and you do not realize it

Have you ever ate lunch and then a few hours later realized that you’ve been carrying around part of it around the office the whole afternoon with you…in your teeth?  And the worst part of this is when you KNOW that someone has seen it and not told you.  Please, just tell me!  Please!

  • Milk

Milk has got to be in the top ten worst ideas of modern civilization.  Probably top two on my list.  I get that when you’re born, you drink your mothers milk.  You obviously are not born with teeth to eat real food so babies get a free pass.  This is where things get weird…what sick person one day decided to milk a cow and drink it?  Unless you were starving and that was literally the only option before becoming cannibalistic, there is no reason this should ever have happened.  Just seriously think on that for a minute.  It’s just weird.  Not to mention milk is highly pumped with hormones & antibiotics. If you are going to drink that disgusting stuff and continue to drink the milk of another mammal (so unnatural) please do yourself a favor and buy organic.

  • Candy Crush

Oh, Candy Crush.  I never would have thought that crushing candies could possibly be so addicting.  Never in my life have I EVER paid for lives, etc. in a game.  That is also what most of my friends said.  Guess what.  Most of us have at least bought a set of lives or extra moves.  Thankfully, I can say that I am now Candy Crush sober.  If you are addicted here’s a little piece of advice…if you move your clock forward 3 hours you magically get a full set of lives.

So there you have it.  There are a few things that are 100% worse than Nickelback.  I have a feeling I can think of some more so we will say that this is just part one.

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4 thoughts on “Things worse than Nickelback (part one)

  1. I love it Brit! I actually like milk but, since having 2 children, I definitely see the strangeness of drinking milk from a cow. 😉

    How about these things as well:

    – 18 year olds taking up space at the bars I (hardly ever) go to (anymore)
    – Ordering Pizza (on a day that is not Tuesday) and realizing that thing is $20
    – Anyone (that has time to be) in better shape than me
    – The fact that Nickelback is still making music (I think…)

  2. Pingback: A full year of blogging is complete! | not for nothing y'all

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